This is a small part of a larger picture that artist Michael Breyette has done. It's one of my favorites by him. Click here
to check out his other work. It's inspired more than one little scene in my mind..some of which I've written down.
I'm thinking of putting them all together and writing a story from them, but I'd like to know what you think about it. It'll be in the vein of Angel's Evolution,
where it's in 1st person pov and present tense. Of course, it'll be a contemporary.
Here's a little bit of what I wrote yesterday.Excerpt:
I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face against his chest. I try not to cry because I don’t want his fellow soldiers to ask about the tear stains on his uniform. I breathe deep, savoring his freshly showered smell, plus the faint scent of gunpowder that lingers in his clothes, no matter how often they’re laundered.
His arms embrace me, crushing me tight to him. His lips brush my ear and he whispers, “I’m so tired of all of this.”
Part of his weariness is because of me. I accept my guilt. My need for him and his love for me weighs him down.
Easing away, I meet his gaze and cradle his face in my hands. He stares at me with such exhaustion and pain in his eyes that I want to burst into tears.
“I’m sorry, love.”
He shrugs, not moving from me. “Is it all worth it?”
Fear races through my heart and I gasp. “Is what worth it?”
Hoping, praying he doesn’t say ‘us’.
He gestures to the uniform, to the duffle bag by the front door and to the picture of him graduating from boot camp without me there to see.
“Serving my country. Keeping you a secret.”
I grasp his hands and lead him to his favorite chair. The one I will sleep in most nights while he’s gone. He sits and I kneel, pressing a kiss to his scarred knuckles.
“Never say this isn’t worth it. This is all you’ve ever wanted to be and I would never have you be anything other than this. Your strength and belief has gotten you this far, don’t let them wear you down.”
“It’s not fair to you to hide who you are.” He pulls a hand free and runs his fingers through my hair.
I shake my head and laugh. “I don’t hide who I am. The only thing we hide is what we mean to each other. I will freely admit that it’s hard sometimes not to throw my arms around you after you’ve been gone for months. It’s hard not to come and meet you at the base, but I’ve learned how to deal with that. Don’t I make your homecomings special?”
Blushing, he nods and I can see he’s thinking of the last time he came home from a deployment and how I greeted him in the privacy of our home.
“None of them matter, love. None of it matters as long as you love me and know I love you. I can deal with anything as long as I know you will keep my heart safe in your hands.”
Dropping to his knees with me, he pulls me close and demands entrance to my mouth. I open to him like a flower to the morning sun. Denying him isn’t in my vocabulary or within my ability. He sweeps his tongue in and strokes mine, drawing a groan from me. I flex my fingers against the back of his head, his hair cut too short for me to hold on to. His large hands slide down to grip my ass and rock me into him.
A horn honks outside and we break apart. It’s time to say good-bye for another six months. My heart cracks a little more, but I smile, not wanting him to know how much it hurts to watch him leave.
“I’ll write,” I promise like always.
We stand and I follow him to the door where he grabs his bag. I give him another quick kiss before stepping back, so his friends couldn’t see me. They know me as his roommate, nothing more, and I know it kills him to not tell them the truth. Too much is at risk for him to share our reality with others.
He shuts the door behind him and I move to the window, peeking from behind the curtains to watch him toss his bag in the trunk and slide into the back seat of the car. He doesn’t look back and I understand, though it hurts.
Once the car is out of sight, I turn to stare into the living room, seeing only the picture of him in his uniform. I pick it up from where it sits on our mantel. I run my fingers over the cool glass covering his face.
Is all this pain worth it? The nights of loneliness when he’s not around and I have no one to talk to about my fears and wishes. I’m being over-dramatic. I have friends who know about us and who listen whenever I need to talk, but if I call too much, it sounds like whining and I don’t want anyone to believe I hate my life.
The circumstances surrounding my life suck, but it is a choice I made when I fell in love with him. The truth of it all is that every moment of doubt and pain is worth it for each minute I spend in his presence. It’s worth it for the knowledge that he loves me more than anything else in his life.
He doesn’t have to tell the world about me. He simply has to show me he loves me and I will stay with him forever.
Labels: Excerpts, Eye Candy, writing